Reaching For That Hand
by Xxmilk-candy1996xX
Summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths, but... FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
1. Prologue

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Prologue_

* * *

><p><em>~Shizuo's PoV~<em>

_Up until now, all I do was hurt everybody and destroy everything._

_My strength is much harder to control compared to other people, and injuring them is not that unusual._

_I hated my strength._

_I hated it so much._

_But days would pass by until I realize that I hate this even more. Days would pass by until I realize I'm tangled in a twisted web full of pain and misery and it would all be too late._

_I didn't realize I had this ability. I thought my strength was my one and only curse, other than Orihara Izaya._

_But that me seems to possess another power._

_How I knew that…_

_Was when I saw Orihara Izaya dead right in front of me._

* * *

><p><em>~Izaya's PoV~<em>

_Up until now, I had strived to tower over the people I love. That's why I became an informant. To learn all of their secrets, dig out their deepest feelings._

_To use them. To manipulate them._

_I loved humans. I loved them so very much._

_All except a certain blond protozoan._

_No matter what I did, no matter how I pull the strings, he won't act how I expect him to be._

_I keep trying. But in the end everything goes down the drain._

_He frustrates me. He troubles me. But he is also the only one who gives me adrenaline. _

_I was wrong to assume that I knew him better than everybody else. I kept an eye on him. And I find that he treats me no better than the scum he fights in the alleys of Ikebukuro, even though I pour out everything I have so that he could love me._

_Adore me._

_Just so I could manipulate him. _

_After all, if I have power over this monstrous being known as Heiwajima Shizuo, I could rule over not only Ikebukuro and Shinjuku, but all of Tokyo and eventually, the whole country._

_But suddenly, Shizu-chan changed._

_Unexpected, as usual._

_But it never occurred to me once that it would change me and my feelings towards him either._

* * *

><p>… <em><strong>Yeah, it's a little short, but I'm kinda short of time. And for your information, I won't be around these 2-3 weeks cuz I have my exams. ^_^ Will come back soon! <strong>_


	2. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 1_

* * *

><p><em>~Shizuo's PoV~<em>

_I'm running. Izaya is running too. As I chase him, it starts to rain. The flea had almost slipped when turning a corner, and I almost had him, but he was even further from me after that._

_We arrive at an abandoned construction site of some kind. Bricks and other random construction tools lay scattered about the place. I don't pay much attention to the area. All I currently care about is that I got him cornered and there were plenty of stuff to hurl. I pick up a brick. _

"_Flea," I say. "You're not getting away this time."_

"_A-Aww, Shizu-chan come on, let me off the hook won't you? And surely you're not going to play baseball with a brick?" he says in return, smiling that fake smile of his._

_I was just about to spout something back when something attracts my attention. _

_Upwards. Above Izaya._

_It's shaking. Part of the unstable structure. _

_The flea starts talking, emphasizing his words dramatically with his hands, his rings glittering in the rain. He was saying how it would ruin his precious fur coat. Pfft._

_Like I care._

_I say nothing. I do nothing. I just stare up at the heavy metal and cement that would fall onto him any second._

_It crumbles. But the flea is still talking. My eyes widened; my grip on the brick I'd originally intended to bash his face with had loosened considerably too. I thought he'd realize and step out of the way, but…_

_No._

_He just stands there. Talking, and talking, and talking. Never once looking up. Too absorbed within his own words to notice. Not even when the whole fucking thing starts to fall. _

_I look at him, stunned. Three seconds before he would get crushed to death. He is currently smiling. _

_Two seconds. He only just realizes my frozen state. He starts to move. No, it is too late._

…

_I squeeze my eyes shut, wincing as the loud sound thunders against my ears. _

_And I wait. For a sign. For something that indicates that the flea is still alive and breathing. _

_I open my eyes._

_**Under all that debris is Orihara Izaya.**_

_Blood is pooling._

_**Orihara Izaya is dead. **_

_Raindrops splattered on the red substance, making it run all over the place. Something made me move closer to him, and crouch down, laying the brick on the ground. _

_Most of his body is buried, only his head and arm is sticking out awkwardly like a ragdoll. His ring shone. I can't see his face, but if I can, I would probably see those magnificent red eyes—eyes that irritate me, but fascinating eyes, nonetheless—empty and dull, never to see again. _

_And what about his expression? _

_Would he be smiling? Like he previously was? Or was it a mask of shock? Or one that clearly accepted his death? _

_I touch his hair. _

_Whichever it may be, I am not going to find out._

* * *

><p>"Shizuo?" Tom frowned as he waved a hand in front of his kouhai's face.<p>

Shizuo blinked a couple of times, then his eyes darted left and right.

_This isn't… _He looked at his hand. Dry.

_It's not raining. I'm not at the construction site. _

_Where's Izaya?_

"Hey, what's wrong?" Tom placed a hand on his arm. "You look pale. You sick or something?"

"N-No…"

"Well, we don't have any more work to do today, so I suggest you go home and rest properly."

Shizuo just nodded stupidly, reaching up to massage his temple. _Maybe I'm just tired. And to have a dream about that __**louse**__. In broad __**daylight**__. _He sighed. _I need some good sleep._

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya skipped through the streets of Ikebukuro in good spirits while keeping a close lookout for his archenemy, Heiwajima Shizuo. He turned an all-too-familiar bend and crossed the street to where the eye-catching Russian stood handing out flyers and talking with that funny accent of his.

"Hey Simon!" Izaya greeted, coming to a stop a few steps away from the dark-skinned man.

"Iza-yah! You come for sushi? Sushi good! Lots of ootoro! Today no human sushi!"

The informant laughed. "Maybe later. Nee, see Shizu-chan around?"

"Shizu-oh? No no. Not good to make Shizuo-oh angry. Here, come to Russian sushi, sushi good…" Simon continued, handing out flyers.

Izaya pouted. "Fine then. See ya later, Simon."

He walked around aimlessly for about five minutes, before spotting the familiar dyed blond hair.

"Ara~? Is that Shizu-chan I see? What a coincidence~!" Laughter followed the informant's comment.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

When he realized it he had started chasing after him again, tearing through the streets and into the alleys.

_After Orihara Izaya who was supposed to be dead._

For some reason there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Initially Shizuo passed it off as fatigue, but then it started to grow and grow and nag at the edges of his thoughts. _I saw it, clear as day. The flea died. _

_But if he really did then who is this person running in front of me now?_

Suddenly it started to rain. Shizuo's eyebrows knit together at the familiarity.

_But now that I see it…_

_The situation, the scenery…_

They turned a corner and Izaya almost slipped, but he just passed it off with laughter, as if what he was currently doing was just playing tag with his most hated enemy. _Of course._

_Rain, Izaya, and—_

They arrived at the construction site.

_Ah, it's here._

The memory of Izaya's dead body crept into his mind and gave Shizuo chills down his back.

_Are you going to die here?_

He looked upwards, and sure enough, it was shaking. He stared at it some more, eyebrows knit together, willing in his heart for Izaya to just notice what he himself was doing and look up, and step out of the way of death. But the fucking flea didn't notice. Of course he didn't, if all he did during the time was rant on and on about himself.

Shizuo shook his head, disappointed. It fairly looked like Orihara Izaya was going to die a second time today, and this time for real. But he didn't want to be burdened with the blame, and Kururi and Mairu are surely going to be brokenhearted.

Besides, the one who'd done it wasn't Heiwajima Shizuo himself.

Without much thinking, Shizuo pulled the latter's arm, steering him clear of the debris that would fall onto him before the flea could continue his dramatic talk.

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya had noticed Shizuo shaking his head, and was just wondering about what made him did so when the blond-headed brute came and pulled his arm roughly, bringing his whole self closer to the debt collector.

"Uwaa, ah… Tch." Izaya glared momentarily at him before smiling another fake smile of his. "A-Aww, Shizu-chan come on, let me off the hook this—"

An unbelievably loud sound thundered in his ears and he turned around almost immediately.

Right where he previously stood, lay the metal and cement that surely would've knocked the life out of him.

Both men stared at the wreckage for a minute, silent. During that short period of time the rain had lessened to just a drizzle.

Izaya backed a step away from Shizuo awkwardly, speechless for once with his heart beating wildly against his chest. Another unexpected action from the famous blond protozoan. If Izaya knew this was happening, he would've expected for Shizuo to just stand there stupidly and watch him die.

After all, he wanted him dead, didn't he?

Somehow he found this incredibly amusing.

"Ah… Ahahahahaha! Wow! Thanks to Shizu-chan I'm saved!" Izaya lifted his arms and made dramatic gestures. "There's no helping that even though you usually want to murder me but I'm saved this time though."

Izaya was waiting for a response. Any response. Insults, a punch, anything. But the fact that Shizuo simply let goes of his arm and quietly went away left him standing there dumbfounded.

"Shizu-chan…?" he called out helplessly.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

Shizuo trudged home after that, not caring that it is still raining. Besides, it was pointless to go buy an umbrella from one of the many convenience stores when he was already wet. He just wanted to get home as quick as he can, get into a warm shower and try to work out what happened.

Minutes later he lit a cigarette, sat down and rest against his couch.

_I wanted to kill him, but I didn't. _

He stared at his open palm. _There aren't many reasons to not kill him. I will only dirty my hands with his blood._

… _I was supposed to. _

Shizuo clenched his fist tightly and dropped it, instead leaning back and resting his head on the cushions, closing his eyes. _That 'spectacle'… I want to think of it as a simple daydream. But I can't just forget that reality. More than anything he really was going to die at that time. _

He plucked the cancer stick from his mouth and tapped it against his ashtray; blowing out the smoke and watching it rise in a thin wisp in front of him.

"I want Izaya to live?" he asked aloud.

_That's ridiculous. Next time I'll kill him. _

_Yup. That was what I thought._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm back~~<strong>_

_**So... Exams are finally over and finally I managed to update~ As you can see, haha... Oh well, comments are most welcome 'cuz suggestions might be able to be my savior in times of writers' block... Please tell me what you think as well~ **  
><em>


	3. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 2_

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

_And as usual, he comes. _

_Ahh, there he is, right in front of me, dancing around like some fool, words spilling out of his poison-laden mouth. I don't know what he is saying. Be it teasing words, or insults, or more of his 'loving the entire human race' nonsense, I don't care. All I care is that he intrudes yet again on my turf._

_So as usual, I yell out the same words I have been yelling every time we meet for the past few years ever since we'd met—his name. I drag it out, giving emphasis. Not for drama, no, if possible I don't want to waste my saliva pronouncing __**his **__name, it's just that I hate him so much, and… _

_Ahh, who cares? The main point is that I hate him so much it makes my blood boil and adrenaline fills my bloodstream yet again, and I start chasing him. _

_As usual, he turns around and breaks into a run, laughing, saying that stupid nickname. He is the only person to ever call me that. How dare he? My name is __**Heiwajima Shizuo**__. Not some girly 'Shizu-chan'. _

_But…_

_As usual…_

_If I treat it like usual, there shouldn't be a problem, right? _

_I chased you, and just like that…_

_Blood._

_A lot of it._

_Possibly too much for my taste._

_Hey, Izaya._

_I stare down at his ring, glittering even when streaked with blood, trying not to look anywhere other than that._

_What was it like, as usual…?_

_I start to bend down. I don't know why, I just feel the need to touch that jet-black hair of his._

_Izaya…_

* * *

><p>Shizuo blinked, giving a none-too-friendly start. He was somewhere along a stretch of road, facing a wall. He must have looked stupid. He hoped nobody ever noticed when he was staring off into space. He ignored all the people sidestepping him as they went on with their normal day in Ikebukuro, Tokyo.<p>

_Again, huh…_

_I'm sure I saw Izaya die, but…_

_Now that I've returned, this is… reality?_

Shizuo's eyebrows knit together as he stared ahead, but he went ahead and winced when he heard that all-too-familiar voice.

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

"Hnn~?"

Izaya came to stop a few steps away from the fortissimo of Ikebukuro, a smirk ever evident on his flawless face. "Shi~zu-cha~n. If you stand there like an idiot you'll obstruct traffic, though you already _are_, with that gigantic frown of yours. You just made everybody's happy mood sour with that petty look on your face."

He didn't start yelling and chasing him straightaway, Izaya noticed, amused.

But his face just ended up melting into a wistful, sad one. And if Izaya's eyes were right, it looked as if Shizuo was emitting 'pity' through his eyes. _The hell… _For a second he was surprised. Then he just became plain annoyed at the big brute and clenched his jaw tightly, turning around.

"Bye! I'm going home," he said haughtily. "Don't come chasing me okay." It was useless. That last line was plain _stupid _for him to say. Of _course _he'd come and chase him out of his selfishly-acclaimed area. It's a given.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

Shizuo didn't know what to make of that last line. Judging by their unusual and bizarre relationship, of course he would give chase, right? He wasn't sure whether Izaya really was tired and wanted to go home or whether he was downright challenging him.

_Yeah, hurry up and go home! With this I'll be free from the flea. Hurry up and die! _

Shizuo was supposed to have that sort of thoughts floating around his mind, but, in the end he chased him.

_Why am I doing this? This flea… Damn._

They had turned a few alleys that Shizuo had already known they would. He also knew what lied ahead.

_Do you want me to die, Izaya? Even if I were to die when would you stop the habit of pissing me off! _he thought angrily, ignoring the bead of sweat threatening to drop into his left eye with gravity. They turned a corner. This is it. There were two choices now ahead of him, and time was of the essence. Plus, these two choices involved the delicate issue of life and death. He could reach out and grab him, or he could come to a complete stop right then and there, or he could have the desperate need but not make it in the end. A pathetic attempt to save face.

Instead of what he should have chosen, instead of what anybody who hated Izaya would have chosen… Instead of what the whole _world _should have chosen…

He chose what a 'hero' would have decided to do.

"Stop," He reached out and grabbed that hand. "—being so selfish and die!"

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

He felt somebody—no wait, of _course _it could only have been Shizuo—pull his hand harshly. And because of that sudden action, he felt his arm twist and his body throw itself to the wall. He just had time to reposition himself in a much more acceptable manner when a massive truck speeded past them. He would've been smashed down flat like a tomato had he went ahead and run straight.

Once again, there was that deep silence where he could actually _hear _his heart beating wildly as adrenaline pumped through his veins non-stop. He could also hear Shizuo sigh. It was… a little unnerving.

"What," he started, ignoring the fact that his voice shook, dismissing it as the adrenaline rush working wonders inside his slim body, and shook his hand free from the blond-headed debt collector. It wasn't as hard as he expected. In truth, he thought he'd have such an iron grip on his wrist that it'd probably just stay there when he pulled. Instead, it came free easily.

"Do you intend on saving me," he continued, voice still shaking. He stared hard on the ground, not wanting to look at him in the face.

"Izaya…" he heard. That… tone of sorrow does not suit him. Izaya began to feel a little threatened by it.

He snapped his head upwards, anger and hate masking his original features of confusion and uncertainty. He slapped the hand reaching for him away. Hmph. If the monster thought he could just go ahead and touch his perfect human body, think again. But… Maybe it was a little too harsh; after all, it had produced a loud sound. But he couldn't care less at the moment.

Shizuo looked surprised. And a little hurt.

"Stop looking at me with that face! You've been making it since a few minutes ago!" he retorted, and jumped up and, without a backward glance, ran away.

He didn't know where to go, with all those mixed-up feelings of his. He just knew that he had to get away from the monster, and fast. So he just ran. And ran, and ran, and ran. As far away as he could from the brute. It wasn't until he reached the subway already a few hundred meters away from the place he was at before that he turned around and scanned the area. No Shizu-chan.

Ignoring the little feeling of disappointment budding in him, he cursed instead and took out his subway pass, mixing in with the sea of people and going back to his humble abode in Shinjuku where he could at least be very sure that Shizuo wouldn't come looking for him.

In the train he'd boarded—after pushing selfishly through the throng of people rushing home after working hours—he stared down at his wrist, the one Shizuo had pulled on, thus saving his life and providing him another day to live on. He glared at it, fingers curling in his palm as he cussed. The monster had touched him. He would get infected. It would be the end of the world soon. Oh no.

But that won't happen, he knew. It was just a simple pull, plus, he had actually saved his life. For the second time, even. But if he thought that by doing so he'd get a whole-hearted 'thank you', then he was terribly, terribly wrong. Izaya had no intention of bringing up the matter the next time they met.

Then he realized something else—

His wrist hurt.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

A few seconds of silence settled around Shizuo after the flea left, his hand awkwardly held out in front of him. It didn't hurt. Hell, if he could survive getting hit by a truck, how would a slap on his hand feel? Nothing more than an ant's bite. But if it didn't hurt at all, why did he feel a little torn up, under that flare of rage bubbling up inside of him?

He tried suppressing it. Tried telling himself that the source of his anger had already gone, so he just had to deal with it like an adult.

But in the end, he just couldn't.

With a burst of fury, he pounded the wall beside him, and left a big, gaping, crumbling hole afterwards when he pulled his fist out.

_What kind of face should I make to look at Izaya, _he thought, staring blankly ahead.

_He'll die, that louse. _

_And I, saved him again._

_Me who wants to kill him._

_**Contradicting.**_

_Why did I help?_

He bent over, not being able to stop the tears leaking out of his eyes. So he bent over, a hand spread across his face. In his innocent mind, he was trying to hide that pathetic crying face away.

But in reality, there was nobody around to witness it.

_Why do I?_

_The one to deliver the flea the death will be me._

_I'm the only one who can stop his heart beating._

_Maybe that's why, I saved him._

_I'll be the one to kill him, that's what I always hear myself say._

* * *

><p><em><strong>A little shorter than before, but I couldn't help it, so here you go. Ughh, a lot of Shizu-chan angst in this chapter, but honestly, who doesn't love some from our little milk-drinking debt collector? ^_^ And Izaya is not that honest with himself, oh no… Well, Shizuo isn't too. <strong>_

_**Actually I'd originally planned to write this chapter during the weekend or so since I'd already posted one recently, but I just couldn't help it. I needed some Durarara! to see to… D: Though I guess it just means good news for all of you readers huh? **_


	4. Chapter 3

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**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 3_

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

_Izaya will be up on the roof of a fifteen-story building, playing that sick twisted balancing game of his. Then a strong wind will blow. Then he will become unfocused, because he was thinking of other stuff at the time. Then he falls onto the asphalt meters below._

_And he will be dead._

_Several days later, Izaya will go on a meeting with the yakuza he usually handles with. For some reason, both ends don't meet and they don't reach a compromise. A fight happens. As usual Izaya finds his way out of the situation and runs away, but some of them follow him. _

_And they will shoot him, in the dark alleys. His body will stay there until somebody notices and calls the police. _

_Not two weeks later, Izaya will make a new enemy. That enemy will bury his feelings of revenge deep within him, until he can't take it when Izaya pulls his strings a little too hard. He will keep that expensive knife he'd originally bought for collection purposes in his coat pocket one night when he goes out drinking. Somehow he manages to cross paths with Izaya. He asks Izaya to follow him because there was some interesting information he would give for free. Izaya follows him into the backstreets, where he lowers his guard because the latter is drunk. _

_He gets stabbed, and collapses. _

_Izaya will die of blood loss because nobody heard or saw what happened. _

_In all of these deaths, the possibility of them happening is a hundred percent. _

_And in all of these deaths, Orihara Izaya will die pathetically alone, with no one to help him. Even if they could, they wouldn't be able to._

_In the first death, Izaya falls because of his own mistake. Because of his own carelessness._

_In the second death, it's his own fault for getting involved in all the dangerous work he does. And it's his own fault for not managing to explain matters better for both parties, and it's his own fault for not being able to run away fast enough._

_In the third death, it's his own fault for making a new enemy and continuously persecutes him until he gets killed. Plus, he was foolish enough to let his guard down just because the killer was drunk. _

_But there __**is **__someone there to help him, and that man is somebody who has a brain the size of a pea. _

_Orihara Izaya is stupid, yes, but Heiwajima Shizuo is just as stupid. Maybe even more so. _

_To help an enemy, just because his selfish pride doesn't allow anything else to take his life other than him. Just because he wanted to emerge as the proud champion. Valiant. Victorious. _

_And because of those selfish feelings, I will fall. I will fall into nothingness, be swallowed by doubt, all those dark energy clumping together to clot whatever's left of my humanity. _

_I'm almost at my limit now._

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

"Ughh…" Izaya groaned as he leaned his head back against his swivel chair after logging out of the chat rooms. Rumors are going around. Rumors about him and Shizuo. How recently, they were being seen together more often.

Yeah, well, Shizuo was the one who came looking for him in the first place, so it was all his fault for the rising tension recently. Surprise didn't manage to keep itself hidden under his sniggering mask each time Shizuo showed up during 'certain' times. Somehow he'd felt that if he _didn't _come during those times, he won't be sitting around so leisurely while curling his toes.

He brought his wrist to his face, inspecting it. A little more than two weeks had passed since their little encounter with the gigantic truck, and the place where Shizuo had grabbed him and pulled him out of certain death unexpectedly became a bruise. _(A/N: Izaya had already escaped his deaths as written above, in Shizuo's PoV) _

And it didn't show any sign of disappearing.

But at least the pain had gone away, more or less.

His secretary Namie had asked about it, but dropped the matter almost instantly when he started to explain. She even told him to reap what he'd sowed! From that day forth Izaya was determined to find any other flaw that would encourage him to lower her pay. Or to forget about her paycheck altogether.

Izaya wondered about all the recent events that involved him and the monster he so deeply loathed.

There was one day when he was feeling a little bored and went up to the roof of a building where he could get the night's fresh air, and where he could look all around him and see the city's twinkling lights. He had climbed over the protective barrier between life and death stories below, stepped onto the thin stretch of cement and walked around, balancing himself, while enjoying the adrenaline rush every time the wind blew in his own sadomasochistic way.

But then the door was suddenly flung open—and thrown off its hinges—and there was Shizuo, huffing, obvious that he'd ran a long way and climbed up the stairs all the way to the rooftop.

Izaya saw and got pissed all over again, starting to derive a series of mocking retorts, when the big brute started to march straight at him, tearing the wire fence apart and pulling him out and back into safety. He was just about to fetch his switchblade when Shizuo just stood there, not letting go of his waist. Izaya ignored the fact that Shizuo's hand was big and it seemed to comfortably set itself on his waist, though the touch felt mundanely settling but it also seemed hesitant, and if he'd felt it right it almost felt as if his fingers were trembling very slightly. He'd decided to drop the matter and deemed that his fur jacket was thick and he didn't notice.

He stared at the hand with scorn, annoyed once again that he'd touched him, and expected for Shizuo to do or say something, which, of course, he didn't. They just stayed like that for a few minutes, the wind whipping through their hair, Izaya getting uncomfortable and staring down at the ground with rising unease.

He didn't know what Shizuo's expression looked like. He considered throwing him off, pissing him off and run away with him chasing, but for some reason decided not to as Shizuo seemed to be vague and disconnected.

Suddenly, he did the unthinkable—he actually lowered his head and rested it on Izaya's shoulder, silent. Izaya dared to swear that his heart was going to burst at that time, his eyes widening as a shade of red dusted his features.

"Sh-Shizu-chan…?"

Then he'd pushed him away like he was some contagious disease, and after a moment of glaring turned around and went away, leaving Izaya feeling horribly confused.

For some reason, he felt as if he was a used product that somebody just threw away after they'd had their fun. But at least they didn't go _very _far so he didn't have to worry much.

Izaya bent over and smothered his face, trying to forget what happened, especially the part where he'd… wanted to…actually…_touch _him back.

"What are you doing, bent over like that," said a voice Izaya didn't exactly want to hear at the moment—the ice queen's. "Just finish off your work already and stop slacking."

He immediately straightened back up, a smile plastered on his face. "Oh, I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me other than what's necessary? So I personally think that you should just fuck off. What have you got?"

Namie narrowed her eyes as she glared icily at him, before literally throwing the files she'd been holding down on Izaya's desk with a 'clunk'. "Here, today's paperwork. I'm done for today so I'm going back now, like you _ordered _me to." She turned around and grabbed her coat and stuff.

"Huh, 'thanks'," he replied back sarcastically.

She shook her head and stomped away, heels clicking on the floor and slamming the front door behind her. Izaya could've sworn that she rolled her eyes too. Like a bitch.

"I'll have you know that if that door begins to emit weird creaking sounds I'll use _your _pay to order a brand-new one!" he called out loudly, not sure if she'd lingered around long enough to hear but did so just the same.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

Shizuo sat on his couch, head leaning back against the headrest while he stared up at the ceiling dully, going through one of his 'visions' again. The glass of ice-cold milk he'd set on the coffee table had long since begun to 'sweat', the water droplets collecting on the surface of the glass and slowly flowing downwards, creating a thin ring of water around the base of it that he'd have to wipe away later.

His 'vision' ended and his eyes very slowly came back into focus. The first thing he did was close them—the fluorescent white light was blinding his eyes—and sigh as it all came back to his mind.

_The next time… At another construction site… Like the first time this all happened… _

_Damn._

In that vision it was daylight, he was chasing after him again, and he'd actually revealed all of his inner turmoil, all of those feelings that'd been buried within him, just waiting to burst and overflow, like a pipe. He lashed out at him, purposely ignoring the slightly hurt and confused look on the flea's face. He said it was all his fault for making him go through all this, for making his life suffer all the more. He demanded—when exactly will it all end? When exactly will he, for once, just _stop _and leave him alone to nurse himself back to shape.

When will he really die so he would leave him in peace, once and for all.

After that he began to move back a few steps, hurt evident across his features by then.

And the supposedly-durable wire—metal string, whatever it is—starts to unravel, and the metal beam it'd been suspending falls straight onto him.

Dead, once again.

Leaving Shizuo in more hurt than anything he could handle anymore.

He bent over, not caring if it just made him look like somebody trying to hug himself to get rid of the pain, and stared gloomily at the carpet below. His breath hitched as he felt that feeling again—the overwhelming feeling of something attempting to crush his heart, flatten it; it hurt, but he couldn't do anything to stop it, so he was forced to face it head-on. It felt like a really bad cramp, one that constricts your heart, never letting go, not letting it pump the blood necessarily needed by the human body, and not letting oxygen get through to the brain either.

He gritted his teeth as he rubbed his hand over his chest, trying to ease it. Eventually the feeling did ebb away, but that throb lingered.

"Damn it," he whispered brokenly. "Damn it Izaya, I hate you."

He looked at his most favorite drink that is not only nutritious, but tasty as well, without that surging appetite that is usually felt by any other kid when looking at candy.

"I hate you so much."

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Work required him to venture into Ikebukuro once again, plus, he needed to make a stop at Shinra's, just when he didn't really feel the desire to. But he dressed up anyways, putting on his fur coat like always, ignoring the little mark visible at the edges of a fur sleeve. At least what showed through was miniscule and didn't attract too much attention for anybody. Not even Shizu-chan noticed it these past two weeks.

Well, he never did anyway, if all he did was look around for something heavy to chuck at him with.

He was loitering in the streets of a section of Ikebukuro with not so many people around he hoped Shizuo wouldn't cross during his work time—after all, he and Tanaka Tom were hot on a debtor's heels at some other part—when he saw that dreaded bleached blond hair. And he wasn't with somebody who had brown dreadlocks.

But something seemed to be terribly wrong with the blond-haired monster.

He was leaning against the display window of a gift shop, yeah, but a guy like _him _surely wouldn't peek inside a gift shop just for fun, much less try to look for something for someone. Sure, he had the looks but he didn't have the connections. And it was something Izaya made sure to keep track of.

The young informant started to fidget impatiently as he waited for the traffic light to turn green for him to cross the road, where he could see him properly.

Suddenly he turned around, at least enough for Izaya to see part of his front torso, but his face looked flushed and he seemed to breathe heavily.

It almost looked like he was—

Like he was having a really bad fever or whatever sickness he's having and was forcing himself to go outside.

At last the beeping sound signaling for people to cross the road was heard and Izaya hurried along, curiosity sparking his interest more than anything. And the need to look at Shizu-chan's weakness, to be able to sneer at him about something as trivial as a headache, or something.

"Ehee~ Shizu-chan~ What are you doing all the way out here? Here I was taking the trouble trying to avoid you when _you're _the one who happened to be everywhere I go. And what is going on with you? You look… sick. Hahahaha! Get away from me; I don't wanna catch whatever germs that are powerful enough to invade your inhuman body!"

The debt collector didn't respond immediately; instead he raised his gaze to his eyes with effort.

"Iza—"

His eyes slipped closed as he slumped forward, collapsing in a dead faint right smack in the middle of the city.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Wow… This chapter was pretty long… And pretty packed with Shizuo angst, sorry about that… Plus, I made him faint too. O.o As you can see—for those who've read the comics—we have now reached part three, it will end at part four but I'm continuing off around the end with my own plot and with my own ideas. I still don't know whether this story will be a long one or not. <strong>_

_**And thanks a lot to those who've reviewed/favorited/put the story on alert, I love you guys shoo much… ^_^ **_

_**A~nyways, a little heads-up on the next chapter, if everything goes to plan there will be tears. So brace yourselves. D: **_


	5. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 4_

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

"_Hey… Shizu-chan? !" was all he managed to utter when the supposed-to-be-invincible Heiwajima Shizuo suddenly slumped forward and fell in a dead faint. People turned their heads to look with shocked interest; of course, you don't get to see somebody like Heiwajima Shizuo faint just like that. And to those who knew of the twisted relationship between Izaya and him, were wondering what exactly he would do next. If things come to worst, he may seize the golden opportunity to terminate his number one enemy, once and for all, and they would get to witness a murder._

_Honestly at the time Izaya felt a million questions invading his mind regarding Shizuo's… unnatural reaction, but as usual, kept his cool and tried to decide between taking the big brute to Shinra's or just kick him aside and leave him there. _

_For the moment he was compelled to leave him there since he could not imagine __**himself **__with the monster's arm around his shoulder as he walked them all the way to Shinra's, even with the burning curiosity to know what exactly had happened to him. No effing way._

_But his hopes were shattered when he heard someone familiar crying out Shizuo's name with disbelief—Kadota Kyohei. He only noticed Izaya after he pushed through the crowd and found himself in the middle of the little ring of people surrounding them. _

_They had brought Shizuo to the van, which was nearby, and ignored Erika's chatter about how lovingly angsty the way Shizuo just passed out in the middle of the street like that, and how Izaya just 'happened' to be there._

_Thank god Kadota had told the rest of his gang to go home and leave them alone. _

_It was totally worth it even if it meant Togusa or Walker couldn't stick around to help him carry Shizuo up to Shinra's floor._

* * *

><p>And now, Shizuo lay in the couch as Shinra did a quick check-up on him, with the other two being harassed by Celty's questions. Though Izaya would've felt better if only Shinra had told them to haul their acquaintance to one of the guest rooms so he wouldn't have to feel the disgust bubbling inside him, he had told them to just lay him in one of the couches instead since it didn't look too serious. Izaya excused himself from Celty's torrent of questions and went straight to the kitchen sink to wash his hands of whatever germs he could have gotten from <em>him<em>. Yes, he was being cruel but as long as the other person didn't find out, everything would be fine.

A few minutes later they sat in a different section of the large living room, with tea and some biscuits spread across the coffee table. Kadota was the first to ask.

"So… What's wrong with him?"

Shinra turned briefly to glance at the couch Shizuo was currently sleeping on behind him, and then sighed. "He doesn't seem to have been involved with any fights, no wounds whatsoever, and no other substance in his body would've amounted to _that _sort of reaction. I checked and he doesn't seem to be sick either. But if you look at him closely you'll see that he's lost a bit of weight and there are dark circles under his eyes. I could only think of it as a result of stress, maybe from overworking or worrying about something else or even lack of sleep. But, you know Shizuo, this type of thing… shouldn't have occurred to a person like him. I'm thinking of asking him about it when he wakes up later, and I hope I'll get an answer out of it. But for now let's just leave him be."

Like Shinra said, this kind of thing shouldn't have occurred to a monster like Shizuo. Izaya had corrected the phrase Shinra used. No matter how you look at him, he is _not_ in any way like a normal human being. But knowing that Shizuo had actually lost weight and didn't sleep well unleashed a fierce urge for him to know _why_.

"Well," Kadota started, trying to relieve the tension, and secretly glancing Izaya's way to see how he was taking this in, hoping that he won't think of something reckless to do. "Since we're all here anyways, and looking at the time, why don't we just buy some food and eat here? Might as well do a little reunion party since us four are rarely in the same place at the same time."

"Oooh~" Shinra clapped his hands together. "Are we drinking?"

Izaya smirked. "Since Shizu-chan can't hold down his alcohol much, we can use it for him to tell us what he's not telling later on…" he mused in a voice too low for anyone to hear. "I'm in, I'm in!" he said cheerfully. "So I'll be going out with Dota-chi—"

"Well then! Celty will be out on a job in a few minutes so might as well send my love off~ Kadota and I will go and buy food, so Izaya, won't you stay home and look after Shizuo a bit? Promise me you won't do anything to him, though. You don't even have to sit that close to him; all you gotta do is check up on him from time to time," Shinra said, already starting to gather his stuff.

"…Eh. W-Wait, Shinra, I can't—" Izaya started, although he already knew he would have lost anyway with the doctor being this energetic. Usually Shinra would move aside if Izaya made his point clear, but on rare occasions when the doctor got a little too excited he won't back down from something he's decided, no matter how twisted Izaya's logic got him to bribe his way out. Which was why Izaya sometimes lost to him during his high-stubbornness phases.

Izaya really did regret now he hadn't left quickly when he met Shizuo earlier.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

Chatter filled his ringing ears at one point, and, feeling annoyed at those who dared to disturb his sleep, opened his eyes. His head was too fuzzy at the moment so he never did wonder about why there were people there to pull him out of his sleep in the first place. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Shinra though, so it made sense. He was smiling down at him.

He tried to sit up, but Shinra stopped him by placing a firm hand on his chest, forcing him to lie back down. "You can't get up yet. You gotta rest for a while. Do you remember what happened?"

"… I was hit by a bus?"

"No, you passed out earlier. Izaya and Kadota brought you here a while ago."

Izaya…? Ah, now he remembered. "Oh…"

"I wasn't going to ask this until later, but… Did something happen to you these few days? Are you stressed out or something?"

"Ah…" He can't possibly tell him about all the visions he'd been getting, could he? It would only either make him worry about him—and his mental health—all the more or experiment on him. He averted his gaze and focused on the couch he was lying down on. "… It's nothing."

"But Shizuo…"

"You see, I kind of want to tell you, but I can't," Shizuo said quietly. True, he would give anything if it meant he could get any proper advice on what to do after this. All those fucked-up death visions made his feelings turn against one another; when he thought he wouldn't help one particular time for sure, he went ahead and looked for Izaya anyway, one minute he was hungry and prepared a meal, the next minute he'd suddenly lose his appetite and in the end all the food ends up in the trash.

He didn't want to admit that lately, more frequently, Izaya kept invading his mind, causing him to mess up.

There was a little pause as Shinra stared at Shizuo earnestly, trying to figure out what he was hiding. Shizuo was the type of person whose feelings show on their face easily and you can read them like a book, and judging by the way those eyebrows knit together, his eyes downcast, his lower lip looking like it was being chewed, and how he didn't put up a fight when Shinra told him to lie back down, and didn't have that much violent a reaction at the mention of Izaya's name, ensured him that something was worrying his friend deeply, but seeing as how he wasn't ready to tell him, he decided to not to push things any further.

"Okay," he said, patting his arm. "Celty has a job, and Kadota and I are going out to buy dinner, so you and Izaya have to stay at home for a while." He expected for Shizuo to flare up with rage at the mere thought of him and the so-called 'flea' having to stay in the same room for some time, but he took him by surprise.

Shizuo just nodded sullenly and turned to the side. "I'm going back to sleep," he mumbled.

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya, with his chin propped up with his hand, stared at the TV screen without interest, channel-surfing but found nothing he could set his eyes on for more than five minutes. In the end he turned it off altogether, and regretted it a little since the silence produced after that was unnerving. He could faintly hear Shizuo breathing, deep and even. It made him wonder if he really was lacking sleep.

"But of course, I could just kill him right now and get it over with," he muttered, staring at his reflection in the empty screen.

He got up and made his way to the couch where Shizuo was sleeping in, and crouched in front of him, staring at his face. One would think that when you finally get some good sleep after a lot of stress your face would be relaxed, calm; but in Shizuo's case, even if he did manage to sleep his features were not at all relaxed. Truth be told it looked like he was having a nightmare.

_This isn't… because of me, is it? _Izaya thought, glancing at the bowl filled with cool water set on the smooth marble floor, and at the cloth in it. _After all, this all seemed to start since the construction site incident. _

He didn't know why, but he kind of… felt guilty when he looked at the tall man, eyebrows knit together, fists clenching, and perspiration glazing his forehead. He hesitated for quite some time. If he decided to pick up that cloth, wring it out and wipe Shizuo's face it would be a huge blow to his ego and pride. If he decided not to, he would have to find another way to get rid of that strange feeling within him, the very same feeling that enveloped him that one time when they were on the roof of the building with Shizuo resting his head on his shoulder.

He bit his lower lip as his fingers slowly reached for the cloth. _I just need to wipe his sweat. That's all there is to it. If I get it done quickly I can get away from this monster. _He drew in a deep breath as he settled the cool cloth against the man's brow, hoping against hope that he wouldn't suddenly wake up as he felt the cool sensation. If it did it would only lead to more arguing, and both of them will get scolded at by Shinra, Kadota, and most likely by Celty, too.

Izaya finished it soon and dumped the cloth back into the bowl, heaving a huge sigh of relief. He hadn't woken up. Then suddenly, it occurred to him. Why should _he_, of all people, have to wipe his sick archenemy's _forehead_? He scooted away from the other man and stood up instantly, frowning. Why should _he _help someone who'd done nothing but mess up his beautifully-executed plans? Why should _he _help someone who had left that bruise around his wrist?

And why should _he _help someone who'd managed to mess up his inner feelings like this?

Izaya's frown deepened and he got closer to Shizuo, and poked his cheek.

"I am not going to stay here any longer, Shizu-chan. Having you in the same room as me just makes me nauseous. And I don't care whether Dota-chin buys me ootoro or not. And I _will _make you thank me, mark my words," he said aloud, and then turned to leave, only to have his wrist locked in a strong grip and pulled. The force of the pull caused him to fall down on his butt.

It was something Izaya thought ungraceful for anyone to see, especially when he was supposed to be the most composed person in all of Tokyo.

"Owowow… _What_, Shizu-chan? !" He turned to look at Shizuo in the face. He had on this looking-like-a-sick-person expression he had never seen before, with half-lidded eyes and cheeks a little bit red. Seeing that sort of look made his cheeks grow hot, however, and Izaya guessed that he probably had a little red dusting his cheeks too.

"Iza…ya…"

The informant's eyes widened in confusion. He wasn't sure whether Shizuo was still somewhere in his dream world and was sleep-talking or whether he really saw Izaya right there in front of him. Any way it didn't seem like Shizuo would act normally soon.

"What," he snapped. "I was just on my way home. You can wait a little while for Shinra and Dota-chin to come back right?"

"… Don't go…"

"What?"

"Don't go… If you go, you'll die… Construction site… Blood…"

Yep. Shizuo was definitely sleep-talking. "What are you trying to say? I don't get you."

"… Don't go near any construction sites."

"Haa? !" Now that really ticked him off, who was he, trying to tell him where to go to and where not? "Shizu-chan, I am not—"

"Promise."

Izaya fell silent. It was really getting awkward. Shizuo has never behaved like this before. And he couldn't get used to the sudden change.

"Promise me you won't go to any construction sites…"

"But, well, why?"

"I… don't want to… see you die… anymore, so…" He brought Izaya's hand close to his face, pressing the ring on his forefinger against his cheek. "Please…"

Izaya blushed, not believing how his enemy had easily took hold of his hand and was now snuggling against it. He could feel his hot breath ghosting against his skin every time he exhaled. He tried to process what he had just heard in his mind. Was he going to die? At a construction site? Highly unlikely. If he could avoid Shizuo's flying artillery he could avoid anything from a construction site. Unless, of course, the whole building just decided to collapse on him.

No wait.

How would he know if Shizuo was just dreaming about it? Izaya's frown deepened.

But then, if he was only dreaming, then why did he say stuff like 'I don't want to see you die anymore'?

Izaya's mouth hung open. Did he actually dream about him dying multiple times? ! The nerve!

Then he thought of the incidents that happened since the time they were at the construction site. The truck incident. The time on the building. And with the yakuza. And also with that fucking drunkard who'd tricked him.

Each and every of those times, Shizuo was there. He never thought much about it before. During those times he could've died if he made a small mistake. But just when he thought he would perish Shizuo was there to pull him out. He would suddenly appear, bring him out of the mess and disappear again without a word.

Was he talking about those times?

Did he have, like, psychic powers or something? Izaya doubted it. But then again, this is Ikebukuro. If strong monsters like Shizuo and headless drivers like Celty exist, and Saika, having psychic powers isn't that strange when you think about it.

But it was all pretty complicated. Shizuo could have simply been to those places coincidentally, and he could have dreamed about it all and said those words to Izaya. In his dream world he may have conjured up an idea like him dying multiple times.

But even if he _was _there—coincidentally—he surely wouldn't have went out of his way to save the 'fucking flea', would he?

After all, he wanted him to die, didn't he?

Izaya shook his head to get all those confusing information out of his system, and looked back at Shizuo. He had went back to sleep again, but somehow Izaya could feel in his veins that if he woke up the next time he probably would not be happy to see Izaya right in front of his face. What's more, he was holding his hand. And was snuggling against it.

Izaya pulled his hand out slowly and went back to watching TV. Suddenly he didn't feel like going back anymore, and decided to stay long enough for some free food and drinks.

* * *

><p>It has been three days since then.<p>

When they were enjoying themselves, eating and drinking and him savoring his heavenly ootoro, Shizuo woke up, said a quick 'thank you' to Kadota and Shinra—not to him, yes, he noticed—grabbed a package of the sushi Kadota bought and left the place, not before throwing a cold glare Izaya's way. His actions at the time didn't tell Izaya if he'd forgotten about their earlier occurrence or whether he was glaring at him and sending a silent message telling him to forget all about it.

But he didn't mind.

Somehow Shizu-chan's behavior now was more interesting to him than just pissing him off and getting himself chased down the streets of Ikebukuro. And more unpredictable than usual.

Izaya stared down at the mug of coffee in his hand, stirring its contents and letting the rising steam heat up his face.

He wasn't sure if Shizuo's 'predictions' were right, but he had somewhere he had to be tomorrow, in a section of Ikebukuro, and nearby he heard that there was a construction site for a high-rise building. He couldn't be sure that he would avoid it altogether since what he said was probably all rubbish anyway, but he wanted to see how it goes.

Would Shizu-chan appear if he showed up in that area?

And how would he react?

He thought of the way Shizuo made him promise not to go near any construction sites that night. He smiled. Sure, Shizuo told him to promise…

But he never confirmed it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So… Sorry for making both Izaya and Shizuo so OOC in this chapter… ;_; I'm kind of getting the feeling that the OOC-ness will increase in the following chapters since I intend to make Shizuo a little more… desperate. DX <strong>_

_**Still, I hope you liked it. **_


	6. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 5_

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

He hadn't been getting any more of those visions lately, but as much as he would love to believe that it'd finally been over, there wasn't any news of the flea being dead. Which could only mean that he couldn't have gone near any constructions sites. Yet.

_But, what exactly is this feeling? It's like something's coming, and somehow it's like I won't be totally ready when it does_, Shizuo thought as he walked in a slow and steady pace, a cup of iced coffee in his hand. Truthfully he didn't want to drink coffee, but Tom-san took the trouble to treat him to a cup too, so he couldn't actually refuse. Unlike one certain ungrateful flea, he wasn't the type to sneer at what other people so generously gave him. He sighed as he stared at the now-milky contents. At least Tom-san was considerate enough about his kouhai to buy an ice-blended one with extra whipped cream he could tone down the flavor with.

Today's job was like a wild goose chase. Sources informed of their debtor hiding in his friend's place at a section of Ikebukuro, but when they'd got there nobody was home and passersby didn't recognize the men. Then they had to go back to the city and poke around and check some of the infamous gambling houses in case they were there. So far they had checked nearly twelve and nothing, nothing, nothing.

So naturally, Shizuo got really annoyed, and Tom-san allowed him to go home and do whatever he wanted. But he wanted to clear his head so he decided to walk aimlessly around the city for a while. So far, so good. Nobody bothered him. Nobody bumped into him. Nobody acted annoying enough for him to get irritated. And there was no flea around to make his life any more miserable than it already is. If only Celty was around he could complain to her, but she had her own job to do so he didn't want to use up her time.

He looked at the clock erected in the middle of the park. It was then 10.30 p.m. He went on for a while more, and just when he thought it was time to go home already and rest a phone call came. Shizuo initially wanted to ignore it. It couldn't be Kasuka anyway, he had told him further hand that he couldn't contact him much for a couple of weeks since he'd be overseas, and Tom-san had already let him go, he surely wouldn't bother him now, besides, if it's work there was always tomorrow. That narrowed down to a very small amount of people. Since, after all, even a grade-schooler's cell phone has way more contact numbers than his.

The first call went by unanswered. Shizuo kept on walking, slurping on his iced coffee and inwardly wincing at the taste.

The second call was ignored too, and Shizuo started to feel a little guilty. Whoever it was could be desperate to talk to him, or might have something important to say. But he rarely got to go on a long walk like this and appreciate the rare peace, so he wanted to enjoy it as much as he can before the stinking louse came by and ruined everything.

When the third call came he reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and flipped it open with a frustrated sigh.

"Hello?"

"Shizuo! Where have you been! I've been trying to reach you ages ago!" It was Shinra's voice, which was currently shouting a bit too loud against his ear.

"What, Shinra? I'm a bit tired today and I just want to go home." _And what do you mean by 'ages ago'? You've only called me three times._

"Izaya," Shinra interjected before Shizuo could hang up on him. He supposed it was good luck he managed to say it quick enough. By then he got his full attention.

"What…?"

"Izaya. He got caught up in this freak accident. I don't know all the details but somebody I knew sent him here. Says he got crushed in the middle of a construction site. Why he was there in the first place, I would never know. I just finished patching him up, so come over if you want to."

Shizuo's eyes instantly widened when he heard 'construction site'. With a little embarrassment he remembered the last time he actually told Izaya to promise him not to go near any sites, but, that was when he was delirious. It'd been better if that never happened.

Yup. Shizuo closed his eyes as he returned the phone back into his pocket and finished the last of his coffee.

It'd been better if nothing ever happened.

* * *

><p>Shizuo saw that the front door was left open as he made his way up the stairs to Shinra's apartment. In the back of his head he thought that Shinra was actually expecting him to come. Well, damn. He actually did. Or maybe he had left it open so he wouldn't just throw open the door…?<p>

There seemed to be nobody around, so he just kicked off his shoes and went in by himself. Shinra wouldn't mind. Other times Shizuo had forced his way through and they had gotten along just fine afterwards. He spotted Celty in the kitchen, and called out.

Her shoulders twitched, as if surprised, and she stopped whatever she was doing to turn around and face Shizuo, PDA already in gloved hands.

_*Shizuo! Did you hear from Shinra?*_

Shizuo nodded. "What are you doing?"

She stepped aside and he saw that she was preparing tea. He looked at it with immediate dislike. He had just finished a cup of bitter iced coffee; no way was he going to drink hot tea this time. No amount of sugar would ever mask the aftertaste that lingered at the back of his throat, besides, Shinra had told him to watch his sugar level. And he could still taste coffee on his tongue, too. Celty seemed to sense Shizuo's dislike emanating off him in waves, and held up a hand to catch his attention, then went over to the fridge and produced a cold glass bottle of milk. Shinra had always made sure they had a continuous stock so they could at least attempt to make Shizuo calm down in case of uncontrollable situations.

It would seem that by Shizuo's apparent relief and smile, they should be grateful for the holy drink called 'milk'. Celty was secretly amused that no matter how Shizuo tried to put up a good front and act like an adult, he still has childish taste and can get a little naïve sometimes. It was a side to him that nobody except his friends would know.

Celty finished up and picked up the tray, but Shizuo went ahead and took it from her. "Come on, show me the way," he said.

If only Celty had a head, she would smile warmly back at him and say a sincere 'thank you'.

* * *

><p>Shizuo wasn't too surprised when he saw Izaya's state. At least, he hoped he didn't.<p>

The raven-haired man was lied down on a bed, sleeping, with bandages covering random parts of his body, and around his head, too. One side of his cheek had a band-aid on it, most likely by having it scraped against the cement. He didn't look too seriously injured.

Shizuo kept quiet as Shinra explained, but all he could completely understand was 'not serious', 'all right', and 'in good condition'. Anyway, it was all he needed to know.

Sometime later both Celty and Shinra left the room, and Shizuo felt secretly relieved that they did. He stared at Izaya's face silently.

"Hey, flea. Why did you do that? I told you not to go near any construction sites right? Why are you being so fucking stubborn? Do you _want _to get killed that badly? Huh? I'm tired, all right? I'm tired of having to bother myself with you. Why do you…" He laid his head on the pillow besides Izaya's and closed his eyes. "…have to make my life so miserable?"

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

_Shizu-chan had fallen asleep seconds ago. _

Izaya glanced sideways at him; his eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling, but his facial expression remained ever so restless and creased as he saw it four days ago, in this same apartment. He went back to staring blankly at the ceiling.

Honestly, he never thought that it would come to this. He drew in a deep breath, and nearly laughed at his own bad luck when his chest hurt. Sure, he had stopped by the construction site near the meeting place after all business was attended to, but it was just for his own stupid curiosity to see if something _would _happen to him there or not. Nothing stood out in the inky blackness and nothing stood out of place among all the machinery and supplies. Surely, nothing that seemed deadly enough.

But he made a slight miscalculation. Ignoring the 'danger zone' sign, he stepped into it nonetheless, and aha, he was crushed soon after. Seems like the 'do not enter, danger zone' sign was put there for a reason. However, Izaya sort of cursed his luck. It was the second time at a construction site, and as if the first time wasn't enough he actually got injured now. He'd hate to admit if Shizuo's presence affected anything.

Slowly, he brought his bandaged hand from under the covers and petted Shizuo's hair, watching him. Unknown to him, Izaya had actually been awake since Shinra and Celty left; he just left his eyes remain shut and listened for any indications on what the blond's next actions might be. He almost flinched when he came and sat beside him, but managed to calm down when he heard him talk. Shizuo… didn't sound like Shizuo at all. His voice had taken on a melancholic tune and wavered at random words, very much unlike the strong, firm voice he usually heard almost every day.

"You're wrong, Shizu-chan," he whispered. "I don't want to die, at least, not yet. It just sparked my interest how you would be able to know all these things. I know you're tired. It's okay if you are, though. You can just leave me alone and let me die. After all, you've always wanted me dead, right?" He chuckled lightly, and buried his face in those wonderfully soft locks of blond.

"But Shizu-chan, I'm not sorry for making your life 'miserable', as you say. I finally got Ikebukuro's grand prize to pay attention to me now, in spite of everything that's happened."

At that moment Izaya might not have realized it thanks to his bursting ego and self-proclaimed hate for Heiwajima Shizuo, but slowly his feelings toward the so-called 'monster' was beginning to change.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well well well. :D So now both Shizuo and Izaya are slowly beginning to have to acknowledge their feelings towards each other, yay~ BUT, it won't end here. [evil laugh] I plan on torturing them both some more so sorry if you're looking forward to a short and sweet lil' story, I plan on prolonging their tale! <strong>_

_**For some reason when I look back on my prepared drafts, some of the incidents look strangely familiar to author icywarm-san's story Nai Wata Shi. D: So icywarm-san, I hope you understand if there are some scenes after this that resembles your story, but don't worry, they are only slightly similar, and I don't plan on having Psyche-chan here. ^u^ P.S: You should check out her story, it's really nice. **_

_**Lastly, sorry if this chapter was a bit shorter than the previous ones. I couldn't find a way to elaborate more without Shinra coming in and ranting about medicine and his love to Celty. I don't want him ruining the mood. XD Oh and I hope you could accept Celty, even though she has short 'screen time' I had fun writing her. **_


	7. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 6_

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

_*Shizuo? Are you okay? You look kind of pale.*_

Shizuo scanned his eyes over her PDA, and looked back up at Celty. "Nah, I'm alright. No need to worry about me."

_*But…* _Celty withdrew her hand, typed up something else, and deleted it again, and in the end, rested both her hands on the edges of the bench they were sitting on.

Shizuo leaned back and closed his eyes, not seeming to have any more to talk about. If Celty thought he looked pale, then he is, he supposed.

Last night, he had another vision. He expected Izaya to die again, maybe, hopefully, in a ditch this time. But what he witnessed shook him.

Izaya didn't die, like he expected.

_He _did.

He foresaw his own death.

He never thought it possible. After all, not even a truck ramming into him nor bullets manage to seriously injure him. But… Shizuo frown deepened. He couldn't really remember what he saw, but what he definitely did see was him being tied up and looking dead.

Soon Celty left, having work to do, and Shizuo merely nodded, and went back home, keeping a careful eye on whoever might have the guts to attempt to kill him.

"Shizuo!"

He turned around to see Kadota waving at him instead, and waited as he caught up. "Hey, Kadota."

"Hey. Have you eaten yet? Come on, I'll treat you."

Shizuo frowned. "Karisawa had better not bribed you into this, right?" he asked, knowing full well how far the woman would go to have either him or Izaya in the vicinity just so she can gather enough 'data' to progress with her doujin circle.

Kadota chuckled and shook his head and led his friend to Russian Sushi. They didn't order much, but Shizuo wasn't that hungry anyway and he thought that Kadota just brought him there to enjoy his company. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed it too. Kadota wasn't as annoying as Shinra and Izaya are.

He wished he could've paid more attention to the contents of his glass of iced tea and the suspicious traces of a little powder lining a part of the rim though. A guy like him could never have expected a little something added to his drink, after all.

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya cocked his head to the side as he stood among the crowd waiting to cross the street. Suddenly he heard the familiar roar of Celty's bike, and merely watched on as she speeded across, while other people chatted excitedly and tried to snap a lucky picture. He shook his head, a smile playing on his lips. Celty is a common enough existence in Ikebukuro, so why bother speaking about her non-stop? The rumors are almost never-changing.

But he couldn't deny that what he was looking for wasn't this familiarity. If he wanted to see Celty a simple text message or a call to Shinra would do. What he was looking for was some apparent damage to the city he so loved. Damage done by Ikebukuro's strongest man, Heiwajima Shizuo. Proof that the man himself was still _there_.

He had never seen him since the night he came to Shinra's place when he was injured. Now he was fully recovered and still delving into humans' private affairs, but whenever he made a stop by Ikebukuro no matter how long he lingered he never saw the blond brute.

He had carefully counted the days, and today was the fifth. He could tell the city was literally overflowing with rumors about Shizuo by then. None, he noticed, so much as mentioned the possibility of him staying cooped up at home as the result of a simple case of the flu. Some even said that maybe he, Izaya, had managed to remove him somehow, through connections, but Izaya would never do that sort of thing. Sure, he sent gangs, the police, paid truck drivers to 'create' accidents, but that was because he knew none of them could hold Shizuo back long enough—or kill him, for that matter—for him to make a comeback. If he wanted to kill Shizuo he would've done it himself, maybe even in a flashier way.

Today, it seemed, would be another failure. He had wandered around the city for hours and still not a sight of him. He thought that maybe Tanaka Tom had a hint, but the man said Shizuo had gone home as usual the night before he disappeared, and had not shown up for work the next day. Phone calls made to him went by unanswered.

One of Izaya's own cell phones rang as he started to cross the road along with many of the humans he loved. The name flashing on the screen indicated that the caller was Shinra.

"Hello~"

"Hey, Izaya. I just wanted to ask—have you seen Shizuo lately?"

"Ah, everybody is asking that very same question. Alas, no. I have not. I myself don't know why he disappeared so suddenly like that."

Shinra sighed at the other end of the line. "I was just worried that maybe you had something to do with it."

"Aww you're so cruel, Shinra! Unfortunately, I had nothing to do with it this time."

"So, can you check it out? I'll tell you whatever information I manage to get my hands on, that is, if you don't already know."

"Why would I do that?"

"I know you'll do just that, Izaya. After all, I bet you couldn't stand the thought of having Shizuo struggling in someone else's hands without you knowing about it and cackling your head off."

Izaya shook his head amusedly. "Okay, you win. Bye Shinra~" he said in a cheerful tone, but stopped short when somebody bumped into him. He smiled at the flustered young man, lightly brushing aside his apology.

"Ah, part of it was my wrong too, I didn't pay attention. By the way, do you know somebody by the name of Heiwajima Shizuo?"

* * *

><p>"Namie-saaa~~an~" Izaya called out as he kept his eyes on the computer screen, an annoying smile on his face as usual.<p>

"What?" was the prompt irritated reply by the female secretary who was currently sorting out documents at another end of the room.

"Nee~ Have you heard anything about Shizu-chan lately? I'm so bored. There's hardly anything new about him other than silly accusations of me having possibly finishing him off."

"Why, didn't you 'possibly have finished him off'?"

"Stop answering my question with a question. So, have you? Or didn't you? Well, it'd be no big surprise, seeing as how cold you are nobody would dare tell you something that's not based on concrete proof."

"Firstly, no. And secondly, I don't listen to rumors if they aren't beneficial to me."

Izaya laughed. "Haha, I, on the other hand, listen to _every _interesting story my humans have to tell. No matter how silly they are they have to be based on _something_. And my job is to find what that 'something' is, right, Namie?"

"I'm going to stop talking to you now."

Izaya giggled, then sighed dramatically. "I'm going out. Take care of all the documents before you leave, Namie~" He stood up, got into his coat and pranced out the door before Namie could complain.

* * *

><p>He was once again in the streets of Ikebukuro, replying a message to one of his contacts while dodging the mass of people out going around at night. There wasn't a sign of Shizuo's presence anywhere so he stopped looking for him just to piss him off.<p>

"Another uneventful day…" he sighed, hoping for something interesting enough to happen.

A few minutes later one of his phones rang. He mildly noticed that it was the one Shizuo had the number to and his heart couldn't help but flutter with anticipation. He saw with expected disappointment that Shizuo's name wasn't on the screen, instead 'private number' was. He flipped the cover open without much hesitation; if it was a private number then maybe someone else had something to do with him. That meant more delicious information.

"Hello~"

"This is Orihara Izaya, correct?"

Izaya raised an eyebrow at the smooth, masculine voice. It sounded like somebody who had power, and more than anything, he recognized the sadism in there somewhere.

Chillingly, the voice sort of sounded like him, in a way. But Izaya shook it off as mere coincidence.

"Yes, and you are?"

"I don't wish for my name to be known, after all, I'm just a nobody here."

"Hmm? Then—"

"Orihara Izaya-san, you, of all people, should have noticed how Heiwajima Shizuo disappeared all of a sudden, don't you?"

"Yes?" Izaya pressed on with renewed anticipation and immense interest.

The man on the other end of the line chuckled, and then he heard some shuffling, as if he was trying to pass the phone on to someone else.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

He wasn't exactly sure of what had happened. He just felt… nothing. Uneasiness, anger, fear… nothing. It was as if somebody had turned his emotion-switch off and he became a living robot. He barely even felt the rough rope cutting into his skin, barely felt the numbness in his legs from sitting down the whole time; he just stared at the ground listlessly as the shadow of a man walked back and forth. He couldn't comprehend what the man was saying, and to who.

He noticed the shadow growing bigger and bigger, but he didn't realize when the man had actually came close and tapped on his shoulder lightly. When Shizuo made no move to respond the man laughed quietly—to himself, it seemed—and reached under his chin to bring his face, and attention, upwards.

He couldn't see part of the man's face because of the darkness, but who cares, he'd most probably forget it soon after anyways. His eyes strayed to the bright thing he was holding in his other hand. The man was talking again, but Shizuo didn't listen. His eyes were trained on the… phone, he realized.

"Shizuo-san."

Shizuo looked back up again at the familiar sound of his name, or, at least, that's what the man said his name was. "Hnn?"

"Here, it's Orihara Izaya-san. I'm sure you two would want to talk to each other?"

"I…zaya…?" he repeated. That name sounded familiar too, but he couldn't place where.

"Here, say something." The man leaned closer and pressed the phone to his ear. Shizuo stiffened at the sudden coolness of the screen.

"Shizu-chan?" he heard someone say at the other end of the line. There was a lot of noise in the background, and it was a little bit hard to listen to the other man when he was talking so quietly. He blinked, not knowing what to say. So he said the stranger's name again instead. "Izaya…"

"Sh-Shizu-chan!" he heard the stranger say in a louder voice but the man patted his head and took the phone away.

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya found it hard to believe. It really was Shizuo. And he was with someone else.

"Who exactly are you? Whoever you are, you must be something to actually have Shizu-chan in your hands like this," he said smoothly.

"Hmm~ You don't need to know who I am. Anyways, if you want him wait a while and I'll mail you the details."

"Oh? This easily? I thought it'd be much harder to persuade you. Not that I complain, it saves me a lot of trouble, really. And money."

The other man laughed. "Yep, I've already had my fun, after all."

Izaya didn't like the way he said 'fun'. "Well, thank you for returning him kindly, then. I'll hang up now."

"Understood."

Izaya made his way to a bench and leaned backwards, holding his phone some distance away from his eyes to await the mail he'd been promised. Actually he expected nothing to come, and that he'd have to go through tracing where the call had come from and go to that place himself, but the brief ringtone soon after proved him wrong.

He scanned his eyes over the address on the screen and passed through the streets without much attention to the people around him anymore.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ahh, things are finally getting interesting… :3 Sorry for the late update—and the short chapter—I've been busy for awhile now. I've been watching Katekyo Hitman Reborn. XD I couldn't believe how I failed to notice such a cool anime before… I thank 8TV for airing it [in Malaysia] on Saturdays! You have my gratitude! [hah, as if one of the 8TV staff is reading this] But still, of course, I prefer original Japanese. I hate dubbing… Though the Chinese versions sound pretty good. <strong>_

_**Oh~ well. It's starting to stray away from Akio-sama's original plot now so you guys can't have a grip on what's going to happen. :3 Heehee~ Writing Shizu-chan angst always has a different feel than Izaya… But really, this chapter gives away a **__**lot**__**. O_o **_


	8. Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>WARNING: A whole lot of conversation and, uh, there's a reason why it's ShizuIza, guys. ^_^<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 7_

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya walked the familiar route to Shinra's apartment, empty-handed as always. He wasn't going there to ask the young doctor to tend to his wounds or anything; he was going there to see a certain blond brute who's been there for the past three days now.

Once he got the address the caller had sent him, he had run there straight away, masking his slightly-racing heart with 'glee' to see what the monster had gotten himself into. According to the address, Shizuo was somewhere in the old warehouses in the outskirts of Ikebukuro.

But when he reached there he saw a van, and proceeded stealthily to prevent being seen. But in the end it was someone he knew after all. Looks like Kadota had also received the same message and drove there by himself. Both were pretty shocked that the other came, though Kadota said nothing as Izaya called for Shizuo and a bunch of other nasty names. They found him soon enough, tied up and looking dazed and all; when Izaya cut through the ropes with his switchblade, he noticed the severe lacerations and thought of the possibility that Shizuo might have been seriously out of his mind to not _attempt _to break free as it was just _ropes_. Why Shizuo was even hurt at all surprised him a little, but he ignored that little fact for the time being. Meanwhile Kadota was trying to get Shizuo to respond, but he never did and they had to drag him to the van parked outside. Izaya was somewhat grateful Kadota received the message too; he didn't want to have to drag Shizuo all the way to Shinra's by himself.

Izaya had intended to demand what had happened, but the brute had already fallen asleep once Kadota had started driving after adjusting his body so he'd be more comfortable. It was silent the whole way, Izaya for once not prattling and seemed to be deep in thought instead, which Kadota was partly grateful for.

And then, when they'd gotten to Shinra's place the doctor had told them to go home since it was late and it didn't seem like Shizuo would wake up soon.

Izaya hummed to himself as he skipped over random tiles on the walkway, ignoring looks people gave him, until he reached Shinra's front door. It wasn't locked. He didn't bother giving a heads-up and waltzed straight in after slipping out of his shoes. Nobody was in the living room or in the kitchen, so he walked to the rooms Shinra reserved for special patients, and, noticing that one of them is lighted, went in.

"Heey~ How's he doing?" he greeted, startling the three people in the room.

"I-Izaya! I didn't hear you come in!" Shinra said.

"The door wasn't locked. So I assumed you let me come in by myself."

"…Who's that?"

Izaya's eyes widened as he set his eyes on Shizuo, who had Celty's helmet in his hands and was currently staring blankly at him.

"Shinra?"

Said doctor laughed nervously as he took off his glasses and wiped the lens with the hem of his nightshirt. "Well, you see, he doesn't remember anything."

Izaya leaned his back against the wall, crossing his arms. "Seriously?" he said as he stared at Shizuo, who had lost interest since nobody answered his question and went back to toying with Celty's helmet. "He looks pretty calm being with Celty."

_*He yelled when he first saw me.*_

_*But he got used to it later.* _

Izaya chuckled when he read the words on her PDA.

"Shi~zu-chan~" he called to see if he had any response. He blinked when all he got was a wide yawn. _He doesn't seem to be irritated by my presence too, now that's interesting… _

"Hey, want some coffee? I need to tell you about something, too," Shinra said, getting up and ushering Izaya out of the room. "Hang out with Celty for a while okay, Shizuo-kun?"

Shizuo nodded without looking up.

* * *

><p>"So, what really happened?" Shinra asked as he leaned against the countertop, drinking normal cold water since Izaya didn't want any coffee. "Neither you nor Kadota-kun really explained the situation with me when you guys dumped him here."<p>

"Actually I don't know much about it either!" Izaya said with a huge smile on his face.

"Liar," Shinra immediately replied.

"Haha, well you see, I got a sudden call from someone I don't know, saying he's got Shizu-chan. He just mailed me and Dota-chin the address and we went there to find him, that's all. The guy's a smart one though, he took care not to leave anything behind, and when I tried to trace his calls yesterday," Izaya chuckled. "Nothing came up. It's as if he never existed; he just gave me free information and he just left. Hmph, I wanted to ask Shizu-chan about what had happened to him but given the situation now he's even more of a protozoan than he is."

"Hmm~ It's rare to see somebody that even Orihara Izaya can't manage to sniff out."

"Don't use that term for me. 'Sniffing' is for stupid monsters like Shizu-chan. So, what about him? Is he gonna be like that forever? Did he really remember nothing? Nothing at all?"

"About that," Shinra started. "It looks like we have something serious in our hands, Izaya."

Izaya perked up his ears with interest. "Go on."

"I noticed it straightaway when I started treating him after you guys brought him here, but I wasn't so sure so I tried a little something." He paused. "Heiwajima Shizuo is no longer a 'monster' or an extraordinary specimen. He's just like you and me now. He can fall down and bruise his knee as much as you can with yours, Izaya. Coupled with that and his apparent total memory loss which I'm not exactly sure how long it'd last…" Shinra trailed off.

"… Seriously?" Izaya breathed.

A few moments of silence passed by and Izaya started to laugh as if he'd just heard the best joke in the world. To Shinra it just sounded maniacal, very Izaya-like. It went on for a full minute until Shinra considered drenching him with his glass of water, just in case it was one of those hysterical cases.

Finally he stopped. "Now this is precious. To think that Heiwajima Shizuo has stepped off his throne and straight into the arms of mortal danger! Now maybe I can overpower him! But, it wouldn't be fun to just kill him straightaway when he's so clueless like this, right Shinra? Poor, poor Shizu-chan…" He started giggling again.

"Oh come on, Izaya. Stop. You look like you're the craziest person on the planet."

"Hah. Geniuses had always been thought of as lunatics before their ideas flourish."

Shinra shook his head. "Come on, let's get back to Shizuo."

* * *

><p>Izaya kept a smile on his face as he sat with his elbow propped up on the side table as Shizuo stared at him. Shinra and Celty had just left the room to pick up a call from the living room, leaving the two all alone.<p>

"Why are you smiling at me?" Shizuo asked.

"No reason. Why are you staring at me then?"

"'Cuz you're weird."

Izaya had to laugh at that. "Oh really. Nee, Shizu-chan, do you remember anything?"

Shizuo shook his head. "I just know my name's Heiwajima Shizuo. And it looks like I'm good friends with those two."

"Hmm~ Aren't you afraid of Celty?"

"At first," the blond man admitted. "Well, I woke up and she was right next to me, and she didn't have a head, so…"

"Ahaha! I get what you mean." _How strange. The normal Shizu-chan won't have a conversation like this with me. Not a chance. He just looks so… how do you call it… Like a new person. He's somebody who doesn't know anything, so you can influence him, manipulate him… Haha, I wonder if I can shape him to be someone like me? Or someone who works __**under **__me. Or I can use him all I want, hurt him in any way possible and leave him at a ditch. _

"… Who are you?"

"Hmm? I'm Orihara Izaya, your one and only."

Shizuo looked confused. "Are you my relative?"

"Hell no."

"Friend?"

"I don't really know whether we can be called that."

"Somebody from my workplace?"

Izaya snorted. "Yeah right. I'd never do the work you do."

"Then—"

Izaya put a finger to his lips, shutting him up. "You know, Shizu-chan, you've gotten to be quite a talker now. You really want to know what our relationship is?"

Curiosity made itself known in Shizuo's eyes. It made Izaya suddenly want to pull a silly prank on him. _Serves you right for being such a klutz! _Izaya smiled hugely.

"You're my lover!" he exclaimed in a happy voice.

Shizuo stiffened only the slightest bit, and he blinked. He slapped Izaya's hand away. "I know you're just messing with me."

"Hehe~ The world's always full of surprises, you know~ By the way," he said as he took Shizuo's wrist and fingered the bandage wrapping it. "You're hurt pretty badly, aren't you?" _For someone who's normal now, that is. _"Did Shinra tell you anything?"

"No, not really. Just that I was taken by somebody and you and someone named Kadota found me. I met him yesterday. He seems like a pretty nice guy."

"Of course he is. He's the only one who can put up with us three altogether, after all. So, don't you wanna know anything?"

"I'm not really interested. I just wanna hurry up and get my memory back, then I'd know what to do." Shizuo withdrew his hand and leaned back against the pillows that were propped up, sighing. "I'm so sleepy…"

Izaya stared at Shizuo who seemed to be thinking about something. _Probably something about his current situation, anyway. _He bit his lower lip. _He doesn't yell at me the first second he saw me. He hasn't said the word 'flea' or 'louse' once too. He also didn't punch me or anything even when I'm here right next to him._

_I wonder if… the current Shizu-chan could grow to accept me. _

Izaya's eyes widened right away. _Wait a second, what am I thinking? ! A-Accept me? Shizu-chan? Why?_

"… Hey, are you really my lover?"

"Huh?" _What did he just—_ "Nn!"

Izaya could only blink when Shizuo leaned in, placed a hand on his lap to support himself, and kissed him.

_W-Wha…!_

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

_I wonder if this is a dream or a little bit of my memory, but, I'm… fighting someone…? He looks so thin. But I don't think he's very friendly if he's flinging at me with a switchblade. But I don't seem very friendly myself either, for some reason I'm chucking a vending machine at him. _

_Am I some sort of bodybuilder or something? I thought vending machines are heavy. _

_But, why…? Is this… turning into a nightmare? He's running around the alleys, turning here and turning there, as if he knows exactly where he's going but, I see a road ahead. Is he going to dash across that road? Or maybe turn either left or right at the last minute and running into some store? I stare as he dashed across instead, and got run over by a truck._

_Ahh, he's really pretty stupid after all, running across a city street like that. He's probably just someone I conjured up in my dream anyway. _

_Then why am I… crying?_

Shizuo woke up to sore pains in some parts of his body, a stiff neck, and an empty brain. He had no idea who he was, but he guessed he was a sensible enough person to not panic. The headless woman was scary, yeah, but he felt that she was someone familiar to him so it didn't matter as much. He had screamed but he didn't feel particularly scared.

The man in front of him was a different matter, however. He didn't really like the way he was looking at him as if he was sizing him up. And that amused look in his eyes just made him look like a complete jerk. Shizuo decided he probably didn't like him that much if he had known him before. To dream about him earlier definitely meant he knew him, but he's right there smiling at him so the part about him dying was definitely something his mind made up.

He had asked him who he was, and he told him his name. Orihara Izaya. Yep. That certainly does sound familiar. But then, he isn't his relative, or his friend, or somebody from his workplace, so who is he?

"You're my lover!" Izaya said happily with a stupid smile on his face.

Somehow Shizuo didn't feel really surprised he gave that sort of answer.

He then leaned back into the pillows Shinra had propped up for him earlier and closed his eyes. He wished this man to go home already so he could sleep. His wounds still hurt and Shinra bothering him about tests and blood samples and stuff tired him through. It wasn't as if he broke all his bones or had poison in his bloodstream or his blood could suddenly be used to create a serum for some mysterious disease or anything. And he couldn't go back to his home either. He didn't even remember where it is.

He opened his eyes and stared sideways at Izaya, who was looking downwards. He raised an eyebrow when he blushed a little. It was easy to overlook that really light pink though.

"… Hey, are you really my lover?"

"Huh?" He looked up. Shizuo leaned in, placing a hand on his lap so he could support himself without falling out of the bed and kissed him experimentally. Izaya didn't move, and he looked astounded, and embarrassed as well. Shizuo pulled back and smiled mischievously at him.

"Wh-What did you…!"

"What? I thought you said we were lovers. Isn't kissing what lovers do?" _Ohh, he's blushing even more fiercely now._

"That's…!"

"Hm? Was that your first kiss then?" _I'm feeling that this is strangely fun._

Izaya quickly slapped a palm to his face to cover his flaming cheeks.

"Oh wait, was that my first kiss too?" Shizuo wondered.

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Izaya's fingers curled into his palm as he felt Shizuo's lips on his. _I… He… Oh my god._

"Wh-What did you…!" he stuttered.

"What? I thought you said we were lovers. Isn't kissing what lovers do?"

Shizuo was smiling at him. The same sort of smile he would be making if he were the one messing around. Izaya could feel his face growing hot.

"That's…!"

"Hm? Was that your first kiss then?"

_What. The. Hell. _Nevertheless he covered his cheeks, though Shizuo probably already noticed.

"Oh wait, was that my first kiss too?" Shizuo said thoughtfully.

"Heey~" Shinra chirped as he came in.

Izaya jolted and turned to him straight away. "Shinra!"

The doctor looked a little surprised. "What?"

"Help me! This isn't Shizu-chan at all!"

"Well, that's to be expected, since he's lost his memory and all…" Shinra trailed off.

"That's not what I mean! He did something to me!"

"What did he do?" Shinra asked as he frowned confusedly, looking back and forth between Izaya and Shizuo.

"He… Uh…" Izaya gave up. "… I can't say it…!"

"Well, it doesn't look like he hit you or anything. More importantly, I have something to announce~" he said cheerfully. "Hehe, I kinda have a business trip."

"What?"

"You see, there's this conference I reeaaally wanna go to, and I just got a place. That's what that call was about. I have to go to the airport tomorrow…" Shinra twiddled his thumbs.

"And…?" Izaya didn't like where this was going.

"Since nobody's home, nobody could take care of Shizuo-kun for the next few days, and I can't let him go back to his own house 'cuz other people will find out about his current condition…" he trailed off.

"Oh no. No fucking way."

"Aw, please? There's nobody else to take care of him! Besides, he's not going to kill you or anything!"

"What? ! What if his memory suddenly pops back into his head? Then what am I going to do? !"

"Nee, Shizuo-kun, you've grown used to Izaya now right?" Shinra moved on to Shizuo, completely ignoring Izaya.

"Hey!" Izaya turned around just in time to see Shizuo nod.

"So do you think you'd be able to stay at Izaya's place for the time being?"

Shizuo nodded again.

"Wai— Shizu-chan! Even if you're okay with it I'm not!"

"That's alright," Shizuo said.

"I want to stay with Izaya."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hehe~ Sorry for the boring ending. Please focus on the kissing part. X3 I don't feel sorry for Izaya at all, 'cuz if he never said that Shizuo wouldn't have kissed him~ But I wanted Shizuo to kiss him so I wrote it that way… XD I originally intended for this to be a dark fic, but now it turned into a ShizuIza romance… D: I'll think of something, I guess. <strong>_


	9. Chapter 8

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.  
><em>**

**_Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697_**

**_Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582_**

**_Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403_**

**_Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]  
><em>**

**_Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio_**

**_My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Reaching For That Hand<em>

_Chapter 8_

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

Two weeks had passed by ever since Izaya was burdened with the most onerous weight of them all—a full-grown man who was his mortal enemy. _Was_. A blank memory and no remaining sign of that monstrous strength and a totally new personality that isn't 'Shizu-chan' tore down any reason the both of them had to kill each other with that passionate mutual hate they once shared.

But that was why Izaya felt more unease than amuse being around Shizuo—the fact that the man he once loathed so much, the man he loved to tease, was now an entirely different person who believed he was his lover and a person who hadn't raised so much as a threatening fist or uttered the word 'flea', no longer feel like he had at least some sort of understanding and power over the nasty brute.

Shizuo trying to capture his attention and entertain himself while he sat around doing nothing as Izaya and Namie were busy working wasn't exactly very helpful either. Especially when the informant had to go out and he wanted to follow. Bored, he said. Hah! What was there to be bored for? Izaya had everything in his apartment! He had TV, books of various genres—although some of them were in English and some in Russian, and although most of them _weren't _really the type of fiction teens or adults would enjoy, he had Internet and a computer he could lend if only Shizuo would ask _nicely_, he had a kitchen where he could pop in in search of something to nibble at, a bitch of a secretary he could pester or order food from—now _that _would be highly entertaining—and he also had a magnificent view of the city below him if he possibly wanted to play Simon Says. Alone.

Of course, he just _had _to come up with the excuse of being an amnesiac and not remember what kind of shows he liked to watch, or what kind of books he liked to read, or whether he ever even _touched _a computer. Izaya could only sigh and promise him some sort of treat when he returned.

Now Namie, was another matter. She didn't state much when she came in for work one morning and found a man anybody would recognize sleeping on her employer's couch and said employer bent over his computer and obviously trying to take no notice of that man. She only asked about what happened, and he explained his current dreadful situation perhaps a little too dramatically, and that was it. She would sit quietly at her desk and do work as Shizuo walked back and forth, finding something to do, and pretend as if he never existed. Even Shizuo found her a little irritable and didn't bother her much except during mealtimes.

Trying to relax in the peace and quiet of his home, Izaya sighed over his cup of tea Namie had made shortly before stomping out the door after a day of the usual harassing. Shizuo had been flipping through a magazine Namie brought with her, but quickly got bored of it and dozed off until now. He nearly felt himself blush at the thought of Shizuo and the night he kissed him. He hadn't made a move since then, but he did tend to lean in towards him whenever they were sitting together.

He thought he hated Shizuo, but that night and a few other moments really brought him to thinking about what he truly felt of the blond man. Everything just feels so confused lately. And it was all Shizuo's fault! He was the one who just _had _to catch his attention, the violent first-year with dyed hair that stood out, and managed to disrupt all of his master plans along the years until _now_; he was the one who kept showing up at the most inappropriate times—and though he would never admit, save him from them—and made him grip the ends of his hair in frustration as to fucking _why _he would do that if he supposedly hated him so much, _why _he would act so unexpectedly at sometimes…

And just why would he enable Izaya to have such weird feelings deep inside him, even though a thousand warning bells tinkled in his superior mind.

Another sip, another sigh.

Finally, he set down his cup with a clink, took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. When he reopened them he got up and warily inched closer to the sleeping blond with his face turned towards the cushions. He placed an elbow that supported his chin on top of the sofa and stared downwards, mildly thinking if Shizuo didn't feel so suffocated and hot, face snuggled against the cushions like that. _He _would. Izaya would rather wake up to an empty ceiling or to the blank screen of the television than to seemingly-enclosed darkness that made you feel as if you weren't completely awake.

Frowning and with a bitten bottom lip he lowered a finger and poked Shizuo's cheek, partly grateful he had his face turned so he wouldn't have to stare at that face.

"Shizu-chan's a total i~diot," he muttered. _Yes, a complete idiot that has the nerve to get 'kidnapped' and come home with an empty brain. You're definitely a protozoan._

_A protozoan that made my head go whack these past few weeks. _

At that moment Shizuo stirred, swatting the finger pressed against his cheek and adjusting his sleeping position. Izaya quickly withdrew his hand and waited with bated breath, half-expecting him to wake up enraged like he would be if he were the normal Shizuo with serious anger issues. He didn't, and he inwardly breathed a sigh a relief.

He did, however, turn his face upwards, earning Izaya a full enlarged view of his sleeping face. It was relaxed and looked like he had absolutely nothing to worry about, in contrary to their problems at hand. He unconsciously leaned in; mesmerized by the pretty face he never knew Shizuo had, since it was always marred by scowls and rage and half-covered by tinted glasses. He had no idea Shizuo could look like _this _instead of like _that_, and by 'that' he meant his usual everyday face.

He gulped, and gripped the sofa harder, slowly leaning in more and more. Izaya would like to punch himself in the face for not being able to stop, but as much as he wanted to, it seemed impossible. His body wouldn't listen to him.

He knew his face was heating up and he knew his fingers were trembling with anticipation. He also knew he was embarrassed that he was actually doing this and that his heart felt like it was going to jump right out of his chest. Either way his lips parted, and he can see that Shizuo's hair roots were beginning to show their original hair color with every incoming centimeter.

He reminded himself to let Shizuo know he had to re-dye his hair soon.

Izaya's eyes slipped closed.

"… Just what do you think you're doing?"

Izaya gasped audibly and shot up, practically throwing himself off of his couch with a very, very red face.

Shizuo slowly sat up and raised his eyes to the shorter man, a questioning look in his eyes.

"I, uh…" Izaya broke off, laughing nervously. "I-It's nothing. Nothing to worry about!"

Had Shizuo been his normal self, Izaya could darn well be sure that he would sneer at his stuttering archenemy. He was _so glad _he wasn't right now, even though he had been thinking the opposite quite frequently.

"Were you… trying to kiss me…?" Shizuo asked quietly.

For once Orihara Izaya was entirely speechless. Never before had he felt so… powerless, so fucking _stupid _in his whole life.

Instead he covered it up with what he hoped was a defiant attitude. "Wh-Who said I was going to _kiss _you? And why would I? ! Stop thinking weird stuff or your memory will never come back Shizu-chan!

"… So you weren't?"

Izaya felt his eye twitch and moved to stand in front of Shizuo with his hands on his hips. "Who _would _want to kiss you, you dumb brute? Nobody, of course!" he said with a smirk.

"If I'm right and you're wrong, it's nobody except for you."

Izaya was just about to spout something nasty back when Shizuo suddenly pulled one of his arms and bringing him closer with one hand, and grabbing his chin lightly with the other.

It was as if time stopped for a second, and Izaya wasn't sure whether he wanted it to continue for as long as he wanted or not.

"… Stop," the informant said and pulled back, wiping his mouth with a swipe of his sleeve. Shizuo was looking up at him, obviously expecting him to say something. He narrowed his eyes and turned with his back to Shizuo.

"I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

And so, he left the blond man behind with a puzzled look on his face.

* * *

><p><em>~ Shizuo's PoV ~<em>

It had been two weeks since Shizuo was placed in the care of Orihara Izaya. It worried him a little when Shinra said Izaya's apartment was in Shinjuku instead of Ikebukuro. If it wasn't then maybe Shizuo could go over to Shinra's house and… talk. Somehow being in a different place than he used to be made him feel restless. If he didn't even remember the place where he lived—even where his house was—he thought he wouldn't be able to get used to Shinjuku. But he had already said that he'd stay with Izaya for the time being, and he didn't exactly want to trouble anyone so he said nothing and went in the taxi with Izaya with a deadpan face, looking out at the city lights.

His eyes widened slightly when he arrived. Izaya did seem to be the rich type, but Shizuo found it sort of wasteful to live in such a huge place—alone. Just seeing all the books and expensive furniture made Shizuo cringe inside, as if he wouldn't be able to get comfortable until later. Deep inside he guessed he knew he himself couldn't have lived in a place like Izaya's either.

That made him wonder what he and Izaya worked as, and he soon found out that Izaya was an informant broker.

Shizuo found out a number of things during his stay at Izaya's.

Izaya's place was plain boring. He had gotten used to all the 'expensiveness' while carefully avoiding touching what he didn't need. That included Izaya's books—nah, he knew that'd be boring anyways—, his workplace, or his computers. TV wasn't that interesting too.

What Shizuo really wanted, was to go out. He thought that if he did then maybe he'd remember _something_. Not being able to remember who he was was really starting to piss him off. He tried persuading Izaya to let him out, even a 10-minute walk around the block would do, he said. Or maybe they could eat outside for a change instead of the obviously-insincere meals Namie made for him and take-out Izaya constantly brought home with him every time he returned.

He even tried asking whether he could follow Izaya back to his own house so Izaya could stuff his clothes in a bag for his use.

But no. The answer was always no. And each time Shizuo tried to hide his disappointment.

So Shizuo lived his days with showering, eating, sleeping, and hours of boring TV. At one point he gave up asking Izaya for anything altogether. He thought maybe Izaya was secretly angry at him for being so stupid and losing his memory, causing him to helplessly take him in.

That was why he was inwardly bursting with happiness when he woke up to Izaya trying to sneak a kiss on him while he was asleep. Well, they did kiss—or rather, _he _was the one who kissed Izaya—but then he didn't seem too happy about it at all and went to bed early.

And forgetting his dinner which he was looking forward to after he woke up from his nap.

Shizuo sighed deeply and stalked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see if there was anything for him to eat. He looked from top to bottom and gritted his teeth in frustration, then slammed the fridge door with a little force. He settled for two packets of instant ramen—yes, two—and ate it without much feeling, turning on the TV, which was currently airing a drama.

Raising an eyebrow, he paused when he saw a male actor show up in the screen. He had brown hair and looked a little younger than he was. He stared fixated at the screen for a while, watching the actor's actions.

Okay, sure, the actor was beautiful, but he didn't have to stare at him _that _long. Shizuo turned his attention back to his ramen. He nearly choked when he heard the actor call out 'Nii-san' to another older-looking actor.

He stared at him with an uneasy feeling slowly making itself known in his chest. It felt as if someone was gripping his heart.

"… What?" he breathed.

He made note of the actor's name as soon as it appeared on screen later on—Hanejima Yuuhei—and ate his ramen with less frustration directed towards Izaya than before.

* * *

><p>"Izaya," he said, watching the man slip on his fur jacket, ready to go out.<p>

"Hmm?" He went on to wearing his shoes.

"Can I follow?" Shizuo asked, a question he had asked many times now. And he already knew the answer even before Izaya replied.

"No, you can't. What do you want for dinner? I'll buy you anything you want instead."

_Freedom. The chance to go out. That expensive-looking, delicious-looking desserts I saw on TV. I remember where the shop is. It just opened in Ikebukuro. _

"… Anything I might like other than sushi…?"

Izaya chuckled. "Okay, I'll make note of that. Anything else?"

Shizuo paused for a while before going on. "Do you know who Hanejima Yuuhei is?" Izaya, who was about to open the door since he said nothing stopped shortly, and turned around.

"Why'd you ask?" Shizuo could sense that he asked that question with caution.

"I don't know. I was watching TV and I saw him. I think I could have seen him in the streets before."

"Hm, let me tell you this. I'm running late now so how about talking about this as soon as I get home? Over dinner?"

Shizuo nodded, and Izaya smiled, reaching up a hand to pat his head, then went out the door quickly before Shizuo could ask any questions.

* * *

><p><em>A man watched on as he observed Orihara Izaya like a hawk, his jacket billowing in the breeze from his place on the rooftop of a building. He smirked, watching him weave his way around the streets, avoiding running into any people with a noticeable spring in his step. <em>

"You really are stupid, Izaya-ku~un~" _he said to himself, letting out a dry laugh. _

"I gave you the chance so you could love Shizu-chan, and still…"_ His eyes narrowed. _

"Just hurry up and die so I could take your place, you foolish bastard. Haha! A retard like you can't even begin to understand how it is Shizu-chan who shines the most among all those disgusting humans! And yet…! You love them all except for him, the most human out of them all! Pitiful, pitiful, Orihara Izaya. Looks like Fate has other plans for you."

"… Whether you manage to admit your feelings or not, you'll still die by my hand."

"With Heiwajima Shizuo unfortunately not in good shape to save you, with you… _**locking**_ him up, you'll be open to any danger now. No more flying vending machines or street signs to skewer you, Izaya~ Just death. Hihi! And with you out of the picture, I can be the one to love Shizu-chan wholly for who he is. But, looks like it's not your time yet, lucky you~ I wanna torture you for a while longer~"

_With a satisfied sneer, the man covered his head with his hoodie and walked away._

* * *

><p><em>~ Izaya's PoV ~<em>

"Shi~zu-cha~n," Izaya called after unlocking the door and coming in. "I'm home~ Oh, and I bought some desserts too, you'd like that, won't you? One of my clients recommended his acquaintance's shop. It just opened." He took off his shoes and shifted them to the side with his foot, eyebrow raised when he didn't see Shizuo come straight for the desserts like he always would.

"Shizu-chan?" he called, louder.

_Oh well. He must've drifted off to sleep in front of the TV, or something. _

That was what he thought, but he sensed something strange. The lights weren't even on except the one which he was standing under. And even if Shizuo were watching TV earlier, there'd be flickering light from it. But no.

There was a weird noise, like somebody was having trouble breathing. As if that person was in pain. Izaya's eyes flashed. He set the bags down and rushed to the living room, switching on the lights.

There was Shizuo, on the floor, clutching his head. There was a spilt mug of water too, but that was the least of Izaya's problems at the moment.

"Shizu-chan? !" he cried, gripping his shaking shoulders. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Shizuo just shook his head, eyes shut tight. It looked like he was gritting his teeth.

"Come on! Tell me!"

"My head… hurts… There's all this weird stuff coming in…"

Izaya's eyes widened. _Could it be… _"N-Nee, Shizu-chan, maybe it's your memories that are coming back? If so then you can't fight them, you know. Just let them come."

Shizuo shook his head more vigorously this time. "It's not!"

"Well how do you know that?"

He opened his eyes and looked up at Izaya's. "If it were… then why… are you still here?"

The informant's face scrunched up in confusion. _What the hell is he saying?_

"What… _did_ you see, Shizu-chan?" he asked cautiously.

"You… died… a lot of times… Too many times, I can't handle them." Shizuo's eyes started tearing up. "And every time I was too late to save you…" Izaya heard him swallow. It sounded more like something between a hiccup and a gulp. "And then there's blood… and, and…"

He didn't particularly know why, but Izaya wrapped his arms around the crying man and pulled him close, resting his head against his own shoulder.

"I-It's okay, Shizu-chan. I guess that's just a stupid dream. 'Cause see? I'm right here now," he said with a light laugh.

Shizuo cried against his shoulder, and Izaya could tell he was trying hard not to let his voice out. A few seconds later he realized his own actions and blushed. _What the hell am I doing? ! _

Just as he was about to push Shizuo away from him, he felt his hands reach up to his back slowly, and felt his fingers close around the fabric of his jacket. Izaya knew they were shaking, and let him bury his head deeper in the crook of his neck.

A few minutes slipped by before he pulled back to lift Shizuo's face upwards to meet his. "Shizu-chan," he said, and kissed him. He smiled when he saw that stunned face, and couldn't help letting out a chuckle.

"Hey, I bought dinner. And desserts. I bet you're hungry, right?" He used his sleeve to wipe the tears from the corners of his eyes and face.

At that, Shizuo didn't hesitate to nod.

* * *

><p>"… Uh, let's see… I'm in…" <em>he said to himself, eyebrows knit together, immersed in the hand-drawn map in his hand, comparing it to the sheet of directions in the other hand. Bags sat on the ground, and he kept a watchful eye on them, lest somebody just decided to take one of them. It happens a lot in cities, his cousin said.<em>

_And that was what he came here for, to see his cousins. It had been quite a few years since he last saw them, having to move abroad with his family when he was a child. Now he was old enough to go anywhere he liked. _

_**But… Japan's roads are so… **__He raised his eyes and looked all around him, seeing nothing but buildings, cars, and people. __**…confusing. **__He squeezed his eyes shut. __**It's been three days already since I arrived here and I had to check in hotels every time it's almost nightfall! **__He sniffed pitifully. __**Aaah, what if I don't see Shii-chan at all… **_

_He then shook his head, startling the lady right next to him. _"Nope! I can't think like that! I'll find out where Shii-chan is sooner or later, and if I can't by evening I just have to stay at a hotel again! Money isn't a problem!"

_He studied the map again, and walked slowly, looking left and right, trying to figure out whether he was going in the right way, when his eyes strayed to shop to his right. _

_**Oooh! Parfait! **__He drooled for a second. __**... Shii-chan can wait a while, I guess…**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Two new characters…! See if you could recognize them! And the kisses. They kissed twice in this chapter! ;A; Was that too much? Tell me if it was too much! ;A;<strong>_

_**And sorry if this chapter was a little confusing, there was quite a bit to wrap around after all… orz**_

_**Hmm~~ Merry Christmas everybody...!  
><strong>_


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